The BirdSpy Project

So I don't know what it is that makes me hate twitter with such vengeance. Twitter and its twitterers, twitterheads, tweeters, birdbrains or whatever the hell they call themselves should be mashed and baked into cookies.
What is the meaning of posting every detail of every second of your life on the Net? What is this -The Matrix? It all just seems like some conspiracy to me. Somebody somewhere can keep track of everything that you and everybody else on twitter are doing. That somebody can access this insanely personal information that would otherwise cost him a fortune to collect. And the best part of it all is that the victims are parting with that information out of their own free will and with the greatest enthusiasm. What diabolic extent of brain-washing is this?

With the continuing growth of twitter, nothing and nobody is safe. Twitteroos are everywhere and they're clicking photos of you, observing your actions and everybody else's, and naturally dumping all that info on their mothership. Not only are they bent on violating their own privacy in the most anal way but they won't let anyone else maintain theirs either. Big Brother is watching us all now.

Here's a universal question going out to all twittermonkeys. Why is it such a big deal if you have a trillion gazillion followers on twitter? Does it makes you feel special that a bunch of random people with lives as equally insignificant as yours claim to be interested in what you do with your damn self every day? Does it fill your little heart with joy when some celebrity adds himself to your followers list after you beg and plead with him to do just that?

Open your eyes and look around for crying out loud. The people who post updates on twitter every 5 minutes cannot possibly have real lives because obviously they spend too much time thinking of stuff to put on twitter or actually doing the putting.

And don't even bother contradicting me by bringing to my attention the glowing advantages of twitter because I don't care. Don't tell me how twitter helps you stay connected with your hoards of pseudo friends. Don't tell me that twitter is the physical embodiment of the theoretical collective conscience. I'll laugh in your face. If I want your opinion, I'll ask for it. If you want to give it anyway because then you'll feel like an important person with something to say...take my advice, join twitter bitch!

I'm sure twitter has it's good points but the evil in it completely outweighs the good, I say.

Oh, more than once have I faced peer pressure to join twitter myself. I have strongly resisted such attacks every time. But now, laying aside all caution, I have decided to venture into enemy territory in order to better understand and so better fight my nemesis.

I hereby launch *drum rolls* ... "The BirdSpy Project"!

I am going to join twitter. For 5 whole days, I will devote myself to the world of twitter. I will be the twitterest twitterer in all of Birdland. I will take careful notes of everything I see, good or bad. Once and for all, the question of "to tweet or not to tweet" shall be answered.

Pray for me, folks. And stick around for my daily project reports!

I do this at the risk of fatal danger to myself. I might be brain-washed too. They might get me. But if they do, I urge those of you who care to carry on this war without me. Never give up on the cause. Down with Twitter! Let the games begin.